Live from The Oscars in My Living Room

It’s Oscar night! I usually don’t blog the red carpet, but I thought maybe I would do it off & on while I sit here with my glass of wine. Doug is in the kitchen preparing the food, which I can’t wait to munch on. As my wise friend Luke said, “This is your superbowl, buddy!”

RED CARPET
Jennifer Lawrence is the first to arrive. I haven’t seen all of her dress yet, but it looks pretty and age appropriate. Am I going to eat my words?

Kelly Osborne has a wacky Bride of Frankenstein hair-do and her lipstick is suddenly rather purple. It was much more subtle in the pre-pre-show.

Melissa Leo looks great. This dress is much better than the one she wore at the Independent Spirit Awards. People are definitely starting to arrive. Are the people on the red carpet aware of commercial breaks? It’s weird that they have to adjust their red carpet schedule so they can talk to people on camera. I guess it’s all about promoting yourself, though. No screen time, no movie/TV show/designer plug.

While Ryan is interviewing James Franco & Anne Hathaway, let’s talk about them… Are you looking forward to this hosting team or dreading it? I’m inclined to say James Franco is a loose canon and I’m a fan of that, especially at the Oscars!

Do my eyes deceive me or was that Daphne Zuniga??

In case you’re wondering what I’m wearing for the Oscars, I’ve got on a clearance sweatshirt dress thing from Macy’s that my mom bought for herself and then handed down to me. I’m guessing I look like my grandmother in one of her housedresses, but I’m comfortable. And I’m wearing leggings. And slippers. It’s hot. Or a hot mess.

Hailee Steinfeld – adorable, age appropriate, oddly well-spoken. She would be good on Dawson’s Creek or Gilmore Girls. I actually really enjoyed True Grit. I happen to enjoy Westerns (I guess I owe that to my dad and grandmother), but I think it crosses genres. She helped design her Marchesa gown?! Awesome!

I think Michelle Williams took Busy Phillips as her Oscar date. If you don’t watch Cougar Town, it’s so funny and Busy Phillips is a riot!

Okay, it looks a little less “wardrobe malfunction” than I previously thought. Mila Kunis will probably stay in her dress tonight. Sorry, everyone!

I actually enjoy Mandy Moore. Tangled was wicked cute. And she’s surprisingly tall. Russell Brand brought his mom. Adorable.

Michelle Williams’ dress is beautiful! It makes her look tall and I don’t think she is. I have come to the conclusion that it’s so much easier for tall people to look sophisticated than for short people. Actresses may be the exception, but that might be because everyone is tailoring their clothes for them.

MIchelle Williams is wearing Chanel. Not being super fashiony myself, there are definitely designers whose clothes I consistently like. Oh, to be able to afford Chanel! Also, interesting that Busy Phillips stayed in the background there. Unless I’m wrong and it’s not her. But I think it is.

To anonymous who commented that I’m out of my mind, indeed I am! At least on Oscar night! I like to pretend that people are actually reading this while they’re watching. My imaginary adoring fans!

Zachary Levi! I love Chuck! He’s going to be singing at the Oscars? Awesome! That’ll make the musical numbers more interesting.

I love Amy Adams’ dress. SO far, no one has stuck out as bad. Maybe Jennifer Hudson. I’ll have to see her up close. And I guess I wouldn’t say it was bad, just my least favorite.

Every time I see someone with a pixie cut, I get so jealous! I wish I could wear my hair that way! But my hair is curly and my face is too fat.

Do we dare talk about the J. Lo Venus razor commercial? Weird thing to be a spokesperson for. I actually just watched El Cantante the other day. She was pretty good. And although I am pretty sure Marc Anthony is just a walking skeleton, he wasn’t nearly as repulsive as I thought he might be. I literally expected to have to turn the movie off because he freaks me out, but he wasn’t bad. And that’s pretty amazing praise coming from me! At least about him.

Mandy Moore’s dress is Monique Lhullier – no wonder I like it! She’s one of my favorite wedding/Oscar dress designers!

Mark Ruffalo is with someone named Sunrise. I don’t think I need to say anything more.

Here’s my first controversial statement of the evening – I really dislike Jesse Eisenberg. He seems like a jerk. That’s not to say he isn’t a good actor, but he seems cocky. He talks about not owning a tv, etc, but frankly, if you’re an actor, you SHOULD own a tv. If I was an animal trainer, you would want me to actually study animals, right?

Geoffrey Rush was amazing in The King’s Speech! I want to say that was my favorite movie of the year. Honestly. SO surprisingly compelling!

I think Cate Blanchett is having a puppet show where her chest should be! She’s wearing a dress and there’s a curtainy thing going on at her torso. Hm. I’ll need to see it again before I cement my decision.

Jennifer Hudson looks gorgeous! I mean, in general. Her dress is nicer closer up than it looked when I saw the wide shot. I’m not wowed, but it’s pretty.

Giuliana & Kelly are saying that they love Cate Blanchett’s dress. What do you guys think? I’m just not sure. It looks so rigid around the outside and then pleated. Hm. Thoughts?

Jeremy Renner. Now all I can think about is the gossip about Christina Aguilera crashing his birthday party, getting trashed, and passing out in his bed.

Ooh. I like Scarlett Johannsen’s look. I may have spelled that incorrectly. My bad. I like her casual hair.

I’m in trouble – we’ve got another hour of the red carpet and I’ve already written this much. Ridiculous. Oh well. Hopefully you’ll all stick with me. Hopefully I’m saying what you’re thinking. Or, feel free to chime in if you disagree!

Somebody needs to fix Helena Bonham Carter’s bangs! We saw her in England and she looked wacky. I know that’s her schtick, but still.

Hilary Swank – ruling is that they’ve softened her up a bit!
Just got a glimpse of Mila Kunis – she’s the first potential wardrobe malfunction I’ve seen. She looks gorgeous and shiny, but she’s definitely precariously poured into that dress!

Celine Dion – age-appropriate, pretty dress. Penelope Cruz just had a baby – insane body! And Sandra Bullock! Awesome! Now everyone is arriving!

Nicole Kidman is my worst-dressed for the evening right now! Why would you want to look BIGGER than you actually are?!

Uproar in the house! Reese Witherspoon’s PR person looks horrible chewing gum on the red carpet! Someone should fire her!

How can you not love Sandra Bullock in her gorgeous red Vera Wang dress?!

Natalie Portman looks awesome! Love her dress. Adorable.

Tim Gunn! He’s the only reason to watch the network red carpet. Otherwise it’s pretty lame.

Less than a half hour to the actual broadcast!

Keith Urban is wearing tapered tuxedo pants. I think that’s a definite DON’T. WTF? They remain my worst-dressed.

We’re ready for the show to start now! They’re just about to start! Are you all with me??

OSCARS!
Good intro! But we were hoping for appearances by Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd. And yes, Anne Hathaway is wearing a different dress than the one she walked in wearing!

Moms are standing up in the audience! And grandmothers, too! His grandma is on you tube!

Gone with the Wind! Where’s Olivia??

I’m so confused as to what they’re referencing! Gone With The Wind, Titanic, Tom Hanks!

Art Direction: Alice in Wonderland! That rules out the intro’s trifecta. But if a movie is going to win Art Direction, that’s a good one!

Did that guy just put a mini hat on his Oscar?

Cinematography: Wally Pfister for Inception. He should do something else with his glasses. And I’m actually surprised at how young he is. I expected him to be older for some reason.

First commercial break! So far, so good.

Kirk Douglas! He looks good! Pretty mobile. And people are standing! He’s presenting Best Supporting Actress! The dude is 94!

Best Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo! That would have been my guess!
“You’re much more beautiful than you were in The Fighter.” – Kirk Douglas to Melissa Leo

It’s amazing how awe-stricken someone can genuinely be when they win. Melissa Leo has won just about every Best Supporting Actress award out there this year, but she is still floored by this honor. It makes people that much more attractive. That humility. That sincerity.

It’s 9:00p!

Best Animated Feature: Toy Story 3! No big surprise there. Of course, it’s also nominated for Best Picture.

Best Animated Short: The Lost Thing
I saw every Animated Short nominated and it totally should have gone to The Gruffalo! The Lost Thing was one of my least favorite ones!

Adapted Screenplay: Aaron Sorkin, Social Network. Not a surprise.
Original Screenplay: David Seidler, The King’S Speech “My father always said I’d be a late bloomer.” Saw him in London after the BAFTAs!
Cutest Couple so far – Javier Bardem & Josh Brolin. They look like they’re ready for Communion.

A song for Hugh Jackman??

I expected James Franco to be skinnier than he is. He’s pretty boxy. “She’s a dame.”

I love Helen Mirren! She’s beautiful!
Best foreign film: In A Better World, Denmark

It’s now 9:28p. The verdict is that we’re going to be here all night.

I love Reese Witherspoon’s dress! She’s definitely rocking the hair extensions, though.
Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale. He totally deserves this award. The category is full of awesome performances, but he just disappeared into the role. And it’s always funny to hear his accent because you can never detect it in his roles!

Anne’s next costume change!

Original Score: Trent Reznor, The Social Network
Who knew Trent Reznor would end up an Oscar winner?!

Sound Mixing: Inception
No matter hor dirty Matthew McConaghey might be, he’s still hot!

Sound Editing: Inception

So far, no upsets and nothing really exciting. It’s all gone according to plan. I think the most “interesting” part has been Kirk Douglas’ presentation. I’m not blown away by the hosts- I don’t think they’re doing that much better than anybody who came before them. Although Anne Hathaway has a pretty good voice.

Scientific Awards. Happy for the winners, but this tends to be boring.

Makeup: The Wolfman
That guy just said, “Crikey.”

Best Achievement in Costume Design: Colleen Atwood, Alice in Wonderful
It’s Colleen Atwood’s 3rd win and 9th nomination. Not a bad career.

I’m so glad Barack Obama has time to make a snippet for the Oscars. Is Randy Newman’s mic working? He sounds really quiet.

Zachary Levi and Mandy Moore are adorable! It’s nice to see that he’s really singing.

Best Doc Short: Strangers No More
I am one degree separated from the makers of the doc “Sun Come Up” so I was rooting for that one!

Live Action Short: God of Love

OOOOOOPRAH! You get an Oscar, you get an Oscar, you get an Oscar….

Best Doc: Inside Job
That movie made Vanessa angry. I didn’t get a chance to see it, but I have a feeling it would give me serious agida. And the first political speech of the night!! Someone was going to have to do it!

Billy Crystal! The best thing to happen to this telecast all night! He got a standing ovation and Oprah didn’t!

Visual Effects: Inception

Editing: The Social Network
Did I mention I really don’t like Jesse Eisenberg. Sorry.

We like Florence Welch. She’s not the original singer. Rumor has it that Dido is the original singer but she couldn’t attend. We’ll take it. I’m still upset about the fact that Bruce Springsteen wasn’t nominated last year.

Best Original Song: Randy Newman, Toy Story 3. This dude has been nominated 20 times and this is only his 2nd win! Doug and I are huge fans of the Monsters, Inc song!

Is this the dead people? Yup. It is. I know some people like find this segment boring, but I really like it.

I think I like Anne Hathaway’s blue dress. Slinky.

Best Director: Tom Hooper
Upset!! First upset of the night! I was pulling for Aranofsky, but thought David Fincher was going to win. Wow!

I like Annette Bening’s dress – pretty color and seems very old Hollywood to me!

It’s 11:07p.

I love Eli Wallach! He’s so great!

Oddly, I think the show will be over by 11:30p. Will wonders never cease!

Is James Franco stoned?

I love love love Jeff Bridges! I also love how much he still loves his wife. Vanessa & I saw him in concert this fall (yes, you read that correctly) and he was great, but a little sweaty.

Right now, Jennifer Lawrence looks pretty California, Baywatch. Marked difference from her character in Winter’s Bone.

Best Actress: Natalie Portman!
Her fiancee just helped her up the stairs. I love a gentleman!
She is thanking EVERYONE. But I like her.

Anne Hathaway seems to be doing a lot of the hosting on her own. What is James Franco doing? Waiting to lose his Oscar?

I’m cheering for Colin Firth for Best Actor!

He won!! Best Actor: Colin Firth
He is soooo cute! He’s a favorite among the ladies. It may have something to do with Bridget Jones. I’m just saying. If you haven’t seen The King’s Speech yet, definitely go see it!

One last dress for Anne! And now Steven Spielberg!
Best Picture: The King’s Speech
For a while it seemed like The Social Network was the frontrunner, but I’m glad this movie pulled ahead! As much as I liked The Social Network, I wasn’t rooting for it. I was rooting for this movie. Everyone was amazing! The movie was just so cool to watch – very interesting visually, which isn’t obvious.

Okay, time for Jimmy Kimmel and bed! Maybe I’ll recap tomorrow!
Thanks for reading!

***Wow! That was quite the night! Here’s what I have to say about it all in the light of day…
1) Overall, quite pleased with the winners. I loved that The King’s Speech pulled ahead there and took top honors. I can’t say enough about how much I enjoyed that movie. Maybe it’s because I didn’t have the highest expectations. I’m not a “Royal Watcher” or anything. The acting was great, the plot was great, but I was really fascinated with the visual choices they made. Sometimes I felt like I was watching an Alice in Wonderland type movie. They used interesting angles and interesting locations/sets. There was a visual creativity that was unexpected.

2) Definitely disappointed by the hosts. Anne Hathaway was a bundle of energy who couldn’t get it quite right and James Franco seemed stiff and disinterested. I really thought this was a chance for silly to reign at the Oscars, but even when they had him dressed up like Marilyn Monroe, it all fell flat. Now, all the blame can’t be put on the hosts – there’s a team of writers coming up with all that schtick. Maybe instead of getting younger hosts, they need younger joke writers.

3) Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban stayed my worst-dressed couple of the night.

4) Where is George Clooney? I do not like it when he doesn’t grace us with his presence.

5) I liked the ending where the kids sang and all the Oscar winners were on stage. That’s a new one. I loved that Melissa Leo was totally singing along.

6) I know people get bored by the lifetime achievement awards & such, but I wouldn’t have minded hearing some of those people speak. They’ve earned it. But I’m that rare breed who doesn’t change the channel for the lifetime awards or the “people who died this year” montage. Speaking of the “People Who Died This Year,” they left out Corey Haim and Maria Schneider (from Last Tango in Paris). Yahoo was already abuzz with the omissions this morning!

7) I was hard on Jesse Eisenberg. I was told that you can study acting without owning a TV. Fine. I still don’t like it.

8) Although I liked the references to past Academy Awards, they did not integrate them well into the broadcast. I do know want a holograph of Bob Hope introducing Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem (or whoever it was he introduced). That’s just weird. The connections they made were so thin – it just seemed clunky.

9) No Banksy at the Oscars. Do you think they voted for Inside Job just to avoid the potential?

Okay, maybe that’s all I have to say about the matter for now! I had seen all the nominees for Best Picture and they rounded the category out nicely. Now I get to go back to the movies! Feel free to add to the comments. What did you think about the hosts? Who was the best dressed? Who was the worst? You must have an opinion, right?

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